#RealTalk: Men Are The Worst Liars!

Men…can’t live them….can’t umm ..how about those Packers!!

Brought to you by your boy B-Wood Chronicles!

Here are some of the best lies ever created since the boy who cried wolf:

1. “I’ll call you.”
It isn’t hard to make a phone call. At least it wasn’t before text messaging replaced actual conversation and relationships were catapulted from social networking sites and Instant Messaging conversations. Yet somehow it seems easier for men to end a conversation with, “I’ll call you later” or “I’ll call you right back” instead of being honest and saying, “I’m not interested or “Last night was just F*CK.”
2. “My phone was dead/off/on silent.”
Most of the lies guys tell are directly linked to wrongdoing. READ: CHEATING. When a guy says his phone is off, it usually means he was getting off…with someone other than you.
3. “Just let me put the head in…”
Guys want sex. It’s their endgame. It’s all that matters. If a guy tells you anything along the lines of, “We’re just going to sleep,” or “We can watch movie together” he’s lying. You are either giving the wood or you getting filled with the wood.
4. “I’ve been busy.”
We all know when we’re no longer need.The truth of the matter is that people make time for the things they want to make time for. Yes, it can be a crazy week. Sure, he could be inundated with deadlines and meetings. Of course, his pet parakeet, Arthur, could have dropped dead and he’s been busy making funeral arrangements, but it’s more likely he isn’t that busy at all. Just too busy to be bothered with making time for you.
5. “Size doesn’t matter.”
Please do not even bother with this one, guys. It does. And if you’re running around telling this little tale, we’re going to guess you know the itty, bitty truth. For me YOU’RE NOT going to use it on me but I do like to see and touch it.
6. “…This isn’t what it looks like.”
All of us guys have really good eyes but most of them can see quite well, so when we walk in on a potentially bad situation and you feed us with “We’re just friends,” you are not only lying to us, but you are now trying to convince us that our own eyes are liars as well. This will most likely piss us off even further. When it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and poops all over our shoes, well, you know what it is……….SHIT
7. Number of 1 niters….
 Some guys are the kings of half-truths when it comes to bedpost notches. Men usually forget the number of 1 niters  they’ve actually slept with, so instead of getting a solid 20, they give you a nice, drop it down to 1 or 2 to make themselves look they don’t get around.
8.I’m single.”
Some guys somehow forget they are in a relationship, so instead they just lie. “He’s not my boyfriend”; “I’m married, but we’re unhappy or separated ” I have a roommate(meaning boyfriend)”. These are all some personal favorites.
9. “I will not think differently of you, if you…”
Do this 3some with me. Don’t fall for it. He will absolutely think differently of you… and will probably have the video as proof.
10. “I’m built/ tone”……..
When you talk to a guy you never met before(on A4A/BGC) and your profile clearly states that you like muscular to slim tone guys. Why does the other guy say he is muscular or slim tone and when you two finally meet in public he look like the Precious or even look like Rickey Smiley

Posted on February 11, 2011, in Realtalk. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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